The general greeting that can be used by anyone is வணக்கம் (greetings), எப்படி இருக்கீங்க or சௌக்கியமா? (How are you?). When one says வணக்கம் with head bowed or folded hands the respondent is expected to perform a similar gesture. When asked the question எப்படி இருக்கீங்க?, the respondant is expected to reply either நல்லா இருக்கேன் or சௌக்கியம் (I am fine). In extraordinary cases, some might respond with ஏதோ இருக்கேன் meaning 'sort of okay'. Like in English, usually the respondant is not expected to say for example 'I am not well' or 'doing some what okay' etc., as their initial response to எப்படி இருக்கீங்க?. The proper way is to say நல்லா இருக்கேன் 'I am fine' and after a few exchanges bring up any unpleasant news. People who keep in touch regularly normally keep track of any good or unpleasant events in each others families, and during greetings they respond appropriately. For example, if there was an unpleasant event in someone's family, no one is expected to ask him or her questions like எப்படி இருக்கீங்க?, சௌக்கியமா? or even வணக்கம். Rather, such encounters would usually begin with a head nod or smile.

The length of a greeting exchange depends on the level of familiarity between the parties concerned. Thus it may even take between a minute and longer. Even when people are in a hurry, they will take time to exchange greetings in a proper fashion. Most men would shake hands when greeting one another. Shaking hands between men and women of any age is not appropriate.

When greeting each other, people of the same sex may SHAKE HANDS. Men more than women will initiate a greeting with a handshake. Women rarely greet each other with a hand shake. Rather they may use body language such as a nodding of the head or smile. Influences from other cultures have not yet become fully popular in much of Tamil culture, especially in the case of women; a hug, a kiss on both cheeks, and holding each other's hands while conversing etc., is not common. Such responses from other cultures will most likely embarass the Tamil speakers.

Note on Politeness and Formal/Informal Tamil

When introducing someone to others, attention must be paid to use the appropriate polite forms. Elders should be addressed with the form உங்க

'your-polite' as opposed to உன் 'your-intimate', which is normally used among equals and children. The plural pronominal forms in Tamil are used to denote polite singular, besides marking plural number. Also, only spoken informal variety is used in speech as opposed to formal literary variety, which is used only in platform speech and written communication. For example, உங்கள் is a formal

literary variety whose spoken informal form is உங்க. These two varieties are distinguised based on a sequence of sound changes to the formal

variety, as in this case the loss of ள் in உங்கள் makes it an informal spoken variety. This type of sound changes are an automatic phenomenon, and the learner is required to pay extra attention to learn the distinction between spoken informal variety and formal written/literary variety. Sound changes also tend to occur in intra-word level in sentences. Example, the phrase என் பேரு 'my name' is used in speech as எம் பேரு with ன் becoming ம் in the word என் due to the following labial plosive sound ப்.

Stop sounds in Tamil have a tendency to assimilate the preceding nasal sounds to their place of articulation. This type of sound changes is very common in fast speech.

Following table lists a predominantly used formal and informal variety of pronominal forms.

Formal variety	Informal variety	Meaning
நீங்கள்	நீங்க	You
உங்கள்	உங்க	Your
அவர்கள்	அவுங்க	they/their/his (polite)
அவன்	அவர்	He
அவள்	அவ/அவுங்க	She
தான்	தாங்க	yourself (dialectal)

Use of the suffix ஆ with a negative connotation:

When the suffix ஆ is used in obvious expressions like 'is this a book?' (இது புத்தகமா?), 'is this food'? (இது சாப்பாடா?) etc., a negative connotation of 'who on earth would call this a book?, 'what kind of food is this?' etc., can be implied. In English an extra stress is placed on the nouns such as 'book' and 'food' etc., to disambiguate such expressions. But in Tamil such distinction can only be made with a very subtle intonation. So, in failing to use such intonation, misunderstandings might occur. In some cases, the words such as என்ன, 'what' எல்லாம் 'all', etc., are used with the subject, but again such sentences can also be used with a normal intention. Except for very obvious cases, an ambiguity of interpretation is always possible.

இது என்ன? சாப்பாடா? a) What is this? food! b) Who on earth would call this a food?

நீ எல்லாம் ஒரு மனுஷனா? Are you (all) a human being?

நீங்கள் எல்லாம் போலிஸ் காரர்களா? a) Are you all police men? b) What kind of police men are you all?

இக்கு எங்க போட்றது? இச்சு எங்க போட்றதுண்ணு தெரியலெ! நீயெல்லாம் ஒரு தமிழ் வாத்தியாரா?

You don't know where to add the stop consonants 'க்' and 'ச்'. How can you call yourself a Tamil teacher?

External Sandhi: Doubling of stop consonants when writing Tamil

As we have noted, spoken and written Tamil are quite different, in their vocabulary, pronunciation, and even their grammar. In addition, written Tamil has a number of conventions which govern how it is to be written correctly. One set of such conventions is what is called 'external sandhi' rules.

Doubling of stop consonants (க், ச், த் and ப்) as in அவனைப் பார்த்தேன் 'saw him (I)', யாருக்குக் கொடுத்தாய்? 'who did you give it to?' etc., is determined by the convention in writing Tamil whereby, given two words, a consonant is added to the end of first word which is copied from the first consonant of second word. This process, 'external sandhi,' is made following custom, and there is no satisfactory grammatical explanation/function. Usually, the words in such phrases have a 'government' relation among them. For example, in the phrase அவனைப் பார்த்தேன் 'I saw him', the word அவனை governs the verb பார்த்தேன், and hence the reason for doubling. But, this is not always the case. For example in the phrase அந்தப் பையன் the word அந்த triggers the doubling due to the government relation, but in a similar phrase like நல்ல பையன் 'good boy', the doubling isn't taking place. So, one has to memorize the rules where this doubling should and shouldn't occur. It is important to note that this is a convention of writing Tamil and these sounds aren't pronounced when spoken.

There are only in restricted contexts this doubling takes place. However, word internally when compound nouns are formed, this type of doubling is made quite regularly, as in தமிழ்ப் பாடம் 'Tamil lesson', குதிரைக் காரன் 'horse man, வீட்டுக்காரன் 'landlord' and so on.

Contexts where doubling is done compulsorily:

1. After accusative marker ஐ:

a) என்னைப் பாருங்கள் 'look at me'

b) அதைக் கொடுங்கள் 'give that to me'

2. After the dative suffix க்கு:

a) எனக்குக் கொடுங்கள் 'give that to me'

b) வீட்டுக்குப் போங்கள் 'go to your house'

3. After the adjectives இந்த (this), அந்த (that), எந்த (which), but not other adjectives like நல்ல (good), பெரிய (big) etc.:

a) அந்தச் சட்டையைப் போடுங்கள் 'put on that shirt'

b) அவன் நல்ல பையன் 'he is a good boy' (no doubling)

c) சின்னப் பையன் 'little boy'

d) பெரிய பையன் 'big/older/tall boy' (no doubling)

4. After infinitive forms:

a) நான் உங்களைப் பார்க்கச் சொன்னேன் 'I told him to see you/I told you to see'

b) நீங்கள் புத்தகம் வாங்கப் பணம் கொடுங்கள் 'you give money to buy books'

5. After verbal participle forms (AVP) except the ones that ends in து and ந்து (those that end in த்து should be doubled):

a) கடைக்குப் போய்ப் பால் வாங்குங்கள் 'go to the store and buy milk'

b) பார்த்துப் படியுங்கள் 'look and read'

But not

a) சப்பாத்திச் செய்து சாப்பிடுங்கள் 'make Chappathi and eat'

b) நடந்து போங்கள் 'walk and go'

5. After adverbs with the marker ஆக:

a) வேகமாகக் குடியுங்கள் 'drink it fast/quickly!'

b) சரியாகச் சொல்லுங்கள் 'say it right!'

Importance of consonantal gemination and short versus long vowels

In Tamil there are many words which differ from another word by only a single sound. Such minimal pairs often pose difficulty to the learner of Tamil due to consonantal geminations and the difference between short and long vowels in Tamil. 'Gemination' simply means the doubling of consonants. When a consonant is geminated it is pronounced differently than when it occurs on its own. Learning to pronounce geminated consonants and short/long vowels is very important to avoid any misunderstandings. Failing to pronounce them appropriately will result to misinterpretations and confusions.

For example, the speaker might want ask, is this a leg? with the question இது காலா?

but might pronounce it as இது கல்லா? which would mean 'is this a stone?'

Is this tooth should be asked as இது பல்லா? but when mispronounced might sould like இது பாலா? 'is this milk?' or even இது பலா 'this is a jackfruit' and so on.

Mispronunciation can happen on both ways:

a) pronouncing geminated consonants as single consonants and vice versa;

b) pronouncing short as long and vice versa. Especially, when both gemination and long vowels occur in the same word as noted here, one should pay special attention to say them right.

Learn to pronounce the following pairs, and have them corrected by someone.

பாட்டு(song) - பட்டு(silk) - படு(lie down)- பாடு (sing)

பத்து(ten) - பாத்து(watch out) - படி(step) - பாதி(half)

கத்துscream) - காத்து(wind) - காது (ear) - கதை(story)

மூக்கு(nose) - முக்கு(dip) - முகம் (face) - மேகம்(clouds)

Learning to pronounce the letter ழ requires special attention, as there are chances to mispronounce it as ல, which would result ambiguity in certain contexts as shown below.

மழை(rain) - மலை(mountain)

பழம்(fruit) - பலம்(strength)

Learning to use oblique forms

One of the common mistakes students of Tamil make is not using the oblique (or declined) form correctly, especially for pronouns. Use of oblique forms is always necessary when a case suffix is added, but is not needed when an interrogative or conjunctive suffix is added. So, in the forms like நானா, நீங்களும், நாமா etc., the oblique form is not used as the suffixes that are added are not case suffixes. But when case suffixes are added to them, the oblique form should be used. Thus, என்னை, உங்களுக்கு, நம்மால் etc., are the right way of using them (and not நானை, நீங்களுக்கு). Note, however, that not all nouns have an oblique form as such (e.g., அவன் + ஐ --> அவனை).

Nick names

Many proper names in Tamil have a shorter version which is used as an address term. People of equal status can address each other with shortened names, and superiors or elders can address persons younger than them with shortened names, but not the other way around. Young people addressing their elders with nick names is considered impolite. Calling someone using short names implies intimacy or affection. In some cases, the original name may not even be that long in the first place, but it would be shortened to show intimacy and affection.

There are no specific rules for how to shorten long names, and one has to learn from the usage.

Following are some of the commonly used long and their short names.

சீனிவாசன் --> சீனி or சீனு


சுப்பிரமணியன் --> சுப்புனி or மணி or சுப்பு


பாலசுப்பிரமணியன் --> பாலு


கண்ணபிரான் --> கண்ணன் or கண்ணா


ராஜாராமன் --> ராமன் or ராமா or ராமு


ராமமூர்த்தி --> மூர்த்தி or ராமு


முருகன் --> முருகு


விக்னேஷ் --> விக்கி


ரங்கனாதன் --> ரங்கா or ரங்கன்


ஹரிஹரன் --> ஹரி


பட்டாபிராமன் --> பட்டாபி


லலிதா --> லல்லி


சுபாஷினி --> சுபா


ரவிஷங்கர் --> ரவி


விஜயலக்ஷ்மி --> விஜி or லக்ஷ்மி or விஜயா

Use of Place names along with proper names

Place of birth, residence, origin etc., are some times used along with proper names as addressing terms. Many celebreties are popularly known by their place of origin.

சிதம்பரம் சீனிவாசன் or சிதம்பரம் சீனு


பட்டமங்களம் சுப்புலக்ஷ்மி


வலையப்பட்டி வைத்தியனாதன்


சேந்தங்குடி சீனிவாசன்

Use of caste names as title

It is common among elders to address each other with their caste names as title, usually among upper castes like ஐயர், பிள்ளை, முதலியார், செட்டியார், நாடார் and so on. While in some contexts calling someone with their caste name is considered very polite, in other contexts--namely formal institutions such as schools, government offices, etc. that aim to abolish caste distinctions--it is considered indecent.

Following are some of the typical names with caste names attached.

ராஜாராமன் ஐயர் 'Rajaraman Iyer'

சுந்தரம் ஐயங்கார் 'Sundaram Iyengar'

மீனாக்ஷி சுந்தரம் பிள்ளை 'Meenakshi Sundaram Pillai'

ஆறுமுக முதலியார் 'Arumuga muthaliyar'

வேங்கைய நாய்டு 'Vengkaiya Naydu'

Some times, names of towns or villages are also attached to these names.

பட்டுக்கோட்டை ராமலிங்கப் படையாச்சி 'Pattukotai Ramalingka Padaiyachi'

மதுரை கிருஷ்ணசாமித் தேவர் 'Mayiladuthurai Kirushnasami Thevar'

Professon names such as ஆசாரி 'carpenter', குருக்கள் 'priest', பத்தர் 'gold smith' etc., names referring to sainthood such as சுவாமிகள், அடிகளார் etc., are also possible candidates to be used with proper names.

It is also very common for devotees to call their priest சாமி, servants to call their their master ஐயா, wives to call their their husband அத்தான், மச்சான், parents to call their children affectionately கண்ணு, செல்லம் etc., without using their names.

Last Name

There is no concept of either 'family name' or 'last name' as such in Tamil culture. The caste names refer to particular caste community, but not a family lineage. This causes trouble when the Tamils visit the foreign countries where everyone is identified by first name and last name. Often, in such circumstances Tamil immigrants use their father's name as their last name. In official records in India, everyone is identified by the first initial of their father or husband along with a first name. So, the official records would list names like:

K. கோவிந்தசாமி or கே. கோவிந்தசாமி where கே stands for Govindasami's father's name, for example கோபால், கிருஷ்ணன் or any other name that begins with க்.

Sometimes some people might be called by the abbreviation of their names as எச். ஏ for S. Agoram, கே. ஏ. கே. for K. A. Krishnasamy with the the letter 'K' can stand for the name of the town he belongs to and 'A' refering to his father.

Addressing by initials is common for a number of famous Tamil actors and politicians.

For example, எம். ஜி. ஆர். (MGR) for மருதூர் கோபாலமேனன் ராமச்சந்திரன் (M. G. Ramachandran), one of the most popular Tamil actors and Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu from 1977-1987; ஈ. வே. ஆர். (EVR) for ஈரோடு வேங்கடசாமி ராமசாமி நாயக்கர்(E. V. Ramaswamy), an iconoclast leader of the Tamil non-Brahmin movement and founder of the திரவிட கழகம் (DK) political party; and (CNA) for சின்னகாஞ்சீபுரம் நடராஜன் அண்ணாதுரை, the founder of the திராவிட முன்னெற்றக் கழகம் (DMK) political party.

Attributes of reverence:

திரு ராமராஜன் அவர்கள் Mr. Ramarajan (honorable)

திருமதி ஜானகி அவர்கள் இந்தக் கட்டிடத்தைத் நாளை திறந்து வைப்பார்கள் Mrs. Janaki will unveil this new building tomorrow.

The word திருவாளர் is the equivalent of திரு but is used to refer to young persons - usually teenagers.

There are also other attributes of reverence such as மதிப்பிற்குரிய 'respected', செம்மனச்செம்மல் 'generous' and so on. Religiously significant attributes such as அருள்மிகு 'gracious', சுவாமிகள் 'divinely' etc., are also widely used along with propers names. Using too many attributes of this kind for a single is not uncommon in Tamil.

பெரு மதிப்பிற்குரிய பெருங்கொடை வள்ளல் புகழ் மிகு பெருந்தகை திரு கோபிநாதன் அவர்கள் 'Highly respected, very generous, famous, Mr. Kopinaathan'.

ஏழைப் பங்காளி கருணை மிகு திருமதி கன்னியாகுமரி கண்ணம்மா அவர்கள் முன்னிலையில் இந்தத் திருவிழா நடைபெறும். 'This function will be conducted in the presence of Mrs. Kanniyakumari (place name) Kannammaal (proper name) who is for the welfare of the poor and a very gracious person.

Expressing politeness

Being polite in Tamil culture is associated closely with plural forms. The suffixes கள் and உங்கள் denote politeness and pleasing tone when addressed to a single person, and plural meaning to more than one person. The suffix கள் in its spoken variant ங்க can be attached to virtually any word in a sentence to show politeness to the person addressed. Notice below how this suffix is used in nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs to express something in a very polite way.

இது தமிழ் புத்தகங்க
'This is a Tamil book (sir!)

and even

இதுங்க தமிழ் புத்தகங்க
'This (sir) is a Tamil book (sir)

இந்த தமிழ்ப் பாடம் ரொம்ப கஷ்டம்ங்க
This Tamil lesson is very difficult (sir!)

என்னோட வாங்கங்க
Please come with me (sir!). The form வாங்க is already a polite form, but adding ங்க in it makes it even more polite.

அதுங்க ரொம்ப நல்ல சாப்பாடுங்க
That (sir!) is a very good food (sir!)

This way of using the suffix ங்க to express politeness is common only in spoken Tamil and the written variants of these sentences are unacceptable.

Use of the word கொஞ்சம் to denote 'politeness'

The literal meaning of the word கொஞ்சம் is 'little', but when this is used as an adverb it denotes 'politeness'.

எனக்கு ஒரு நாளைக்கு உங்க புத்தகத்தெ கொஞ்சம் கொடுங்க!

Please, give (lend) me your book for one day.

குடிக்கக் கொஞ்சம் தண்ணி கொடுங்க!

Please, give me some water to drink.

என்னெ கொஞ்சம் பாருங்க

Please look at me

என்னோட கொஞ்சம் வாங்க

Please come with me.

In the following sentences, the word கொஞ்சம் is used with its literal meaning of 'little' or 'some'.

சாப்பாடு ரொம்ப போடாதீங்க! கொஞ்சம் போடுங்க

Don't serve too much food. Put just some.

கொஞ்சம் பாலையும் கொஞ்சம் தண்ணியையும் கலங்க

Mix some milk and some water

But in the following sentence, this word is used in both the meanings.

கொஞ்ச நேரம் நீங்க இங்கேயே கொஞ்சம் உக்காருங்க.

Please sit here for some time.

Some idiomatic forms using reduplication (also see Unit 4, Grammar 2)

தடல் புடல்: Here புடல் is a reduplication of the word தடல்-- which in and of itself does not mean anything. Both words together mean 'grand' and 'extravagant'. This phrase is usually occur with the the adjective ஒரே meaning 'a lot of' or 'totally'. It is originally a noun, but can occur as adjective with the suffix ஆன and as an adverb with the suffix ஆக.

எங்கள் வீட்டில் கல்யாணம் ஒரே தடல் புடல்
Marriage in our house was very extravagant.

தடல் புடலான கல்யாணம்
Very extravagant marriage

கல்யாணத்தை தடல் புடலாக நடத்துங்கள்
Conduct the marriage in an extravagant manner.

Some of the other phrases similar to this phrase include: கடா முடா 'harsh' (தெரு ஒரே கடா முடாவாக நிறைய கல்), kaRaa muRaa 'squeaking' (முறுக்கை கறா முறாண்ணு சாப்பிடுங்க 'eat the snacks with squeaky noise'), கசா முசா 'confused' or 'uneven' (தெரு கசா முசாண்ணு ஒரே கூட்டம் 'The street is a mess with too much crowd') etc.

சும்மா: Literal meaning of the adverbial word சும்மா is 'for free' or 'just'. But it is used in a number of culturally significant ways to denote a number of nuances including 'nothing special', 'casually', 'nothing serious' and so on. Following are some of the uses of this word.

நாளைக்கு என் வீட்டுக்கு சும்மா வாங்க! or சும்மா நாளைக்கு என் வீட்டுக்கு வாங்க
Nothing special. But, why don't you come to my house tomorrow!

உங்கள் பிறந்த வயசு என்ன? சும்மா சொல்லுங்க!
What is your age? it's okay! tell me!

சும்மா is used to express the meaning of 'always' and 'for nothing' in the following sentences.

நீ இங்க சும்மா உட்கார்!
Just sit here, and don't do anything

நீ சும்மா பேசாதே!
Just don't talk all time!

Use of the suffix ஏ: Like the word சும்மா, the suffix ஏ is also used in a number of different culturally signifcant meanings. This suffix that can be added to almost all words in a sentence normally gives the senses of 'abundantly', 'only', 'lots of' and 'mostly'.

When used with the numeral adjective ஒரு this suffix gives a sense of 'too much':

எனக்கு ஒரே தலைவலி
'I have a pounding head ache'

உன்னோட (உன்னோடு) எனக்கு ஒரே தொந்தரவு
'You are a big nuisance for me'

When used with pronouns, it gives the meaning of 'alone' or 'solely by oneself':

நீங்களே படிங்க (படியுங்கள்)!
You alone should read it or you read it yourself without any help.

With temporal nouns, it implies the meaning of 'exactly' or 'definitely':

ஆறு மணிக்கே எங்கள் வீட்டுக்கு வாங்க (வாருங்கள்)
You should come to my house exactly at six o'clock.

With the word சும்மா, it gives the meaning of 'for sure':

நீங்க இந்த புத்தகத்தை எனக்குச் சும்மாவே கொடுங்க!
Give me this book for no price!

Being a guest and treating a guest

Treating a guest with affection and politeness is considered very important in Tamil culture. The hosts usually feel very honored to have someone as a guest in their home. So, they take extra efforts to make them feel very comfortable and being content. Especially, when offering them with food, they take extra steps to make sure the guests eat and enjoy the food. In many cases, hosts make their guests taste all the varieties of food they make. Here, making sure the guest has eaten enough is a sign of the guest's good manners (and wealth). This attitude has its origin from the way the Tamil literatures talk about 'guests'. For instance, the Tamils are usually reminded of a Sangam poem when it comes to receving guests: 'The flower aniccam fades once smelled, but the face of the guests fade as soon as the host sees them with any element of hostililty in their mind'.

Being a guest, one is not supposed to say 'வேண்டாம்'(I don't need/want) in the dining table, instead one should always say 'போதும் (Enough) while the food is being served. Refusing to take enough food saying வேண்டாம் is considered very impolite.

Each meal of the day is served and consumed in a specific order. The dinner, for example, is served in the order of 'dhal rice'(பருப்பு சாதம்), 'rice with curry' (சாம்பார் சாதம்), 'rice with rasam' (ரசம் சாதம்), 'sweet sauce' (பாயசம்), 'vada' (வடை) and 'curd rice' (தயிர் சாதம்). This menu is usually supplemented with some side dishes called கறி. Eating all of these in the prescribed order is usually expected from the guests, and refusing to eat any of these would be considered impolite and would embarass the hosts.

Bargaining (பேரம் பேசு)

Bargaining for anything from vegetables to auto-rickshaws is a common practice in Tamil culture. There is a saying in Tamil வாயுள்ள பிள்ளை பிழைக்கும் meaning 'a talkative person will make out very well' (lit. 'the child with mouth would survive'), which reflects very well the idea of bargaining in stores. Both the store owner as well as the customers tend to engage actively during the process of bargaining. The customers usually start with half of the asking price (பாதி விலை, 'half-price') and both parties attempt to adjust the scale steadily until they come to an agreeable price.

Especially with foreigners, sellers will attempt to get the highest price they can. It is always a good idea to ask a Tamil who isn't involved in the transaction what a good price would be. There are no specific patterns of speech in the discourse of bargaining, but one has to use the language as well as the general knowledge about the market in order to purchase things cheap.

Begin with a pleasing tone of voice, and end with a rough tone of voice:

Both parties normally start with buttering each other up with customary phrases like: நான் பெரும்பாலும் உங்கக் கடெயிலெதான் வாங்குவேன் 'I mostly buy only in your store', உங்கக் கடையிலெ எல்லாம் ரொம்ப நல்லா இருக்கும் 'everything is very good in your store'; உங்களுக்காகத்தான் நான் வெலெயெ கொறெக்கிறேன் 'I reduce the price just for you', எங்களுக்கு உங்களெப்போல வாடிக்கையாளர்தான் வேணும் 'we require only customers like you' etc. By the end though, the mood will be somewhat rougher than in the beginning, with expressions like இவ்வளவுதான் என்னாலெ கொடுக்கமுடியும். இதுக்கு மேலெ ஒரு பைசா கொடுக்க முடியாது 'This is what I can afford, and can't pay even a cent more than this', இப்படியெல்லாம் வெலெயெச் சொன்னா, நான் வேற கடையிலெதான் வங்கவேண்டியிருக்கும் 'if the price is this way, I will have to make my purchases in other stores now onwards'; இதுதான் கடைசி வெலெ. இதுக்கு மேலெ ஒரு பைசா கூட கொறெக்க முடியாது. 'this is the final price and I can't reduce even a cent on this', இதுதான் கடைசி வெலெ. இந்த வெலெக்கி வாங்குனா வாங்குங்க இல்லேண்ணா போங்க! 'this is the last price. Buy it for this price, otherwise leave!'.

Below are some of the conversations one would normally hear in stores during the course of bargaining.

Customer's point of view:

பக்கத்துக் கடையிலெ கொறைக்கச் சொன்னா ஒடனே கொறெப்பாங்க! நீங்களும் கொறெச்சிக் கொடுங்க

The neighboring stores usually make a good deal when asked, why don't you also reduce the price?

அடே அப்பா! என்ன இவ்வளவு அதிகமா வெலெயெச் சொல்லுறீங்க?

Gosh! your price is outrageously expensive!

உங்க கடெயிலெ எப்பவும் வெலெ கொறெச்சலா இருக்கும்ணு வந்தா, என்ன இவ்வளவு அதிகமா வெலெயெ சொல்லுறீங்க!

We came to your store thinking you usually sell things at a cheaper price, but your are giving us a very expensive price!

Store owner's point of view:

வெலெவாசியெல்லாம் ரொம்ப ஏறிடுச்சி. கொறெக்கிறது ரொம்பக் கஷ்டம்.

Everything in the market is very expensive these days, and it would be very difficult for us to reduce the price.

மழெயே பெய்ய மாட்டேங்குது! காய்கறியெல்லாம் சரியாவே வெளெயலெ!

There has been hardly any rain! The vegetables didn't grow as expected!

உங்களுக்காகத்தான் இந்த வெலெ! மத்தவங்களுக்கெல்லாம் கொஞ்சம் அதிகமாத்தான் விப்போம்!

This price is fixed just for you, and for others it will be little bit more expensive.

Kinship terms in Tamil

Kinship in Tamil entails a strong affinity toward the idea of combined family, where all the family members live together in a single house. The head of the family is usually the grandfather (தாத்தா), whose sons (மகன்கள்) and grandsons (பேரன்கள்) would be living in the same house with their wives and children. When the daughters get married, they move to their husband's house. Therefore all the male members in a family would be living the same house, unless there is need to move out for the reasons of employment, education, etc. Following is the family tree based on kinship terms.

தாத்தா (grand father)	பாட்டி (grandmother)
அப்பா (father)	அம்மா (mother)
அண்ணன் (older brother)	அக்கா (older sister)
தம்பி (younger brother)	தங்கை (younger sister)
பெரியப்பா (father's older brother)	பெரியம்மா (father's older brother's wife)
சித்தப்பா (father's younger brother)	சின்னம்மா or சித்தி (father's younger brother's wife)
மாமா (mother's brother)	மாமி (mother's brother's wife)
அத்தை (father's sister)	மாமா (father's sister's wife)
மாமனார் (father-in-law)	மாமியார் (mother-in-law)
மாமா (vocative term for father-in-law)	மாமி or அத்தை vocative term for mother-in-law)
மருமகன் (son-in-law)	மருமகள் (daughter-in-law)
கொழுந்தனார் (husband's brother)	கொழுந்தியாள் (husband's brother's wife)
நாத்தனார் or நாத்தி (husband's sister)
சகலர் or சகலை (wife's sister's husband)
அத்தான் (vocative term for husband) also cross cousins

Concept of Cross-cousins

In traditional Tamil culture, marriage among cross-cousins is a common custom. That is, a man's sister's children (அத்தை மகன்கள் or அத்தை மகள்கள்) and a woman's brother's children (மாமா மகன்கள் or மாமா மகள்கள்) can marry each other. It is also possible for a girl to marry her மாமா, who is mother's brother provided there is an allowable age difference between the boy and girl. This particular custom results a nested relationship within a family, and makes the nature of a combined family very complex.

Telling time; Good and Bad time of a day

The question words என்ன 'what' and எத்தனை 'how many?' and எவ்வளவு 'how much' are used to query time in different contexts.

இப்போ மணி என்ன (spoken)? 'What time is it now?'

எத்தனை மணிக்கு நான் வரணும் (spoken)? 'At what time do I need to come?' or 'At what time should I be here?'

எவ்வளவு நேரம் நீங்க குளிப்பீங்க spoken)? 'How long would you take for your shower?'

The word மணி is used in the sense of o'clock (cf. time) and நேரம் in the sense of 'duration of time'. Duration can be from the range of 'seconds' to 'years'. Another word used to refer to time generally, or as seasons, is காலம்.

Hours of the day

Any specific time in Tamil is expressed from the hour in terms of a quarter (கால்), half (அரை) and three-quarters (முக்கால்). Unlike in English, no time is expressed to the hour. Below are some of the example times.

ஒன்றேகால் (ஒன்னேகால்) 'one and a quarter' (1:15)

ஒன்றரை (ஒன்னரெ) 'one and a half' (1:30)

ஒன்றேமுக்கால் (ஒன்னேமுக்கா) 'one and three-quarters' (1:45)

The other sub-divisions of time are marked with the word நிமிடம் or நிமிஷம் 'minute' and நொடி 'second'.

எட்டு மணி பத்து நிமிஷம் 'eight o'clock and ten minute' (8:10)

ஆறு மணி பத்து நிமிஷம் இரண்டு நொடி 'six o'clock, ten minute and two seconds.

நல்ல நேரம் 'good time' and கெட்ட நேரம் 'bad time'

In general, morning time is considered very auspicious and everyone wants their morning to have a good start. If anything bad happens in the morning, someone might worry that the whole day would end up with similar events. Store owners especially want their first few transactions to be without any problem. If anyone argues or creates a problem in the store in the morning, the owner of the store would feel very bad and might even yell at the customer saying காலங்காத்தாலெ வந்துட்டியே சாவு கிராக்கி 'you butcher! you started it right in the morning!'

If anything bad happens to anyone during the day, that person might blame the person whom he/she woke up to! (இண்ணெக்கி முழிச்ச முழியே சரியில்லெ 'To whom (I) woke up to wasn't right' lit. the eye on whom (I) woke up to wasn't right). For this reason, someone might be afraid to be seen first by someone else when waking up. People also tend to look at their own face in a mirror, or even see their own palms when they wake up in the morning, just to avoid anyone else's bad luck.

Tamils consult the almanac which tells about the positions of stars and planets on each day. Based on how the stars are positioned in relation to other stars, they decide whether a particular time is a good time or a bad time. One-and-a-half hour of each day is considered inauspicous (ராகுகாலம்) during which time no one would start a journey or any auspicious events like wedding, rituals etc. ராகுகாலம் is determined based on how the star ராகு comes in contact with the sun each day. Below are the ராகுகாலம் hours during the week.

Monday (திங்கள்) 7:30 to 9am


Saturday (சனி) 9:00 to 10:30am


Friday (வெள்ளி) 10:30am to 12pm


Wednesday (புதன்) 12 to 1:30pm


Thursday (வியாழன்) 1:30 to 3pm


Tuesday (செவ்வாய்) 3 to 4:30pm


Sunday (ஞாயிறு) 4:30 to 6pm

This sequence of days pertaining to ராகுகாலம் is usually remembered by the following expression:

திருவாரூர் சன்னிதியில் வெற்றிலையும் புஷ்பமும் விற்ற செட்டியார் ஞானியானார்

'The merchant who sold betal leaf and flowers by the side of the Thiruvarur temple became a saint'.

This and similar other expressions are used to remember the above sequence of ராகுகாலம் days.

Day	Raghu (ராகு)	Kuligai (குளிகை)	Emagandam (எம கண்டம் - Right time for the god of death)
Sunday (ஞாயிறு-கிழமை)	4.30 - 6.00pm	3.00 - 4.30	12.00 - 1.30
Monday (திங்கள்-கிழமை)	7.30 - 9.00am	1.30 - 3.00	10.30 - 12.00
Tuesday (செவ்வாய்-கிழமை)	3.00 - 4.30pm	12.00 - 1.30	9.00 - 10.30
Wednesday (-புதன்-கிழமை)	12.00 - 1.30pm	10.30 - 12.00	7.30 - 9.00
Thursday (வியாழன்-கிழமை)	1.30 - 3.00pm	9.00 - 10.30	6.00 - 7.30
Friday (வெள்ளி-கிழமை)	10.30 - 12.00pm	7.30 - 9.00	3.00 - 4.30
Saturday (சனி-கிழமை)	9.00 - 10.30pm	6.00 - 7.30	1.30 - 3.00

Traditional Tamil belief takes the star system very seriously and considers that everyone's life is predetermined by the positions of the stars in relation to other stars and the planets.

Tamil Calendar

The Tamil calendar, based on the old Hindu solar calendar, has twelve months. In general, the Tamil months start around the 14th or 15th of English months. So, each Tamil month spans between the last half and first half of every English month. The Tamil months have around 30 days. However, the number of days varies by year. For example, கார்த்திகை had 30 days in 1997 and 29 in 1998. Below are the names and dates of the Tamil months starting with the Tamil new year for 1997-2004:

Tamil month	English month	1997	1998	1999	2000	2001	2002	2003	2004
சித்திரை (New year)	April	14	14	14	13	13	13	14	13
வைகாசி	May	15	15	15	14	14	14	15	14
ஆனி	June	15	15	15	15	14	15	15	15
ஆடி	July	17	17	17	16	16	16	17	16
ஆவணி	August	17	17	18	16	17	17	18	17
புரட்டாசி	September	17	17	18	16	17	17	18	17
ஐப்பசி	October	17	18	18	17	17	17	18	17
கார்த்திகை	November	16	17	17	16	16	16	17	16
மார்கழி	December	16	16	16	15	15	16	16	16
தை (Harvest month)	January	14	14	15	14	14	14	15	15
மாசி	February	12	13	13	13	12	12	13	13
பங்குனி	March	14	15	15	14	14	14	15	14

Where are you heading? (எங்க கெளம்பிட்டீங்க?)

It is inauspicious and impolite to ask someone எங்கெ போறீங்க or எங்க கெளம்பிட்டீங்க (where are you heading?) when they are going somewhere. If it is important that one should know where the other person is heading, the question should be framed indirectly in such a way that the question doesn't contain the word போ 'go', as in எப்போ திரும்பி வருவீங்க? 'when will you come back?' or திரும்பி வர ரொம்ப நேரம் ஆகுமா? 'will it take too long for you to come back?' and so on. எங்க கெளம்பிக்கிட்டிருக்கீங்க 'are you planning on making a move?' is considered alright, but not எங்க கெளம்பிட்டீங்க 'where are you setting yourself out?'. Similarly, it is not polite to say நான் போறேன் when leaving. Instead, one should say நான் போயிட்டு வறேன் 'I will be back' (lit. I will go and come back').

This is primarily because Tamil culture relates the idea of 'leaving' from a place with that of 'leaving the world for good' (dying). This is the reason why a Tamil, when leaving, would respond angrily to the question எங்க போறீங்க? 'where are you heading?', perhaps with a statement such as நான் என்ன போய்த்தொலையப் போறேனா, என்ன? 'Am I going to get lost, or what?'

Make sure no cat is on your way! (பூனெ கீனெ குறுக்கெ வரப்போகுது)

When Tamils leave the house, they make sure that no cat is on their way, nor a widow or single Brahmin is coming towards them. Such supersitions have no clear reasons, but are believed and passed on by orthodox Tamil Hindus. If, by accident, such events take place when someone leaves home, they return home immediately drink to a cup of water, relax a bit and set out again. This wipes the slate clean so to speak and allows for a fresh start. However, if anything bad happens later or one can't get anything done of what they intended for that day, blame would fall on their bad start. Many Tamils firmly believe that such a bad start always results in some unlucky event, no matter what type of remedies they try to counter it.

Do you have any change? (சில்லறை இருக்கா?)

Even though the prices of most of the items are rounded up or down to avoid using coins, in some places like buses, trains, especially in public transportations and offices, prices are marked with fractions. No change machines have been implemented in Tamil Nadu yet, nor do buses and trains have pay machines. This forces people to keep exact change while taking public transportation. It is very common in buses for the conductor to run out of change and require passengers to pay with exact change. Most people often can only pay in the form of paper currency, and as a result heated exchanges often arise between the bus conductors and passengers on the matter of சில்லரை (change). Paper currency is usually called நோட்டு and the currencies of bigger nominations such as twenty, fifty and hundred ruppee notes are commonly called பெரிய நோட்டு and the ones below ten are called சின்ன நோட்டு.

பெரிய பெரிய நோட்டுக்கெல்லாம் என்கிட்ட சில்லரெ இல்லெ. சின்ன நோட்டா கொடுங்க

I don't have change for currencies of big nominations. Give me something smaller.

இவ்வளவு பெரிய நோட்டெயெல்லாம் எல்லாருக்கும் தெரிய காட்டாதீங்க

Don't show this type of currencies of larger amounts.

The terms பணம், காசு, பைசா, துட்டு etc., besides their specific meanings of 'currency', 'coin', 'cent' and 'note' respectively, can be used to denote the generic meaning of 'money' in certain contexts.

அவர்கிட்ட பைசா இருக்கு. அதனால காரு, பங்களா எல்லாம் இருக்கு

He has money, so he owns car, bungalow etc.

என்கிட்ட துட்டு இருந்தா உன்கிட்ட நான் ஏன் கடன் கேக்கிறேன்?

If I have money why would ask for a loan?

காசுக்காக அவர் எல்லாம் செய்வார்

He would do anything for money.

Mahapalipuram (மகாபலிபுரம் கோவில்கள்)

One of the typical feature of Tamil Nadu is presence of large numbers of structured temples. Starting from the sixth century during the Pallava dynasty and upto the Chola dynasty in the eleventh century, the kings were very fond of building temples. This developed a "temple culture" among the Tamils for centuries immemorial. The temples in Tamil Nadu are noted for their pilgrimage activities ever since they were built. Both literature and the fame of temples are understood to be preserving the people's attitude toward conducting a religious way of life. Churches and Mosques built throughout Tamil Nadu are also known for maintaining the religious mood among the people. For example, the church in Velangkanni and the Mosque in Nagore are famous for attracting pilgrims of all religions throughout the year.

Going to temples, churches and mosques on a daily basis and on an occasional basis is very common among the Tamils. Many temples, churches and mosques do conduct festivals and ritual ceremonies often on a regular basis and attending them by some Tamils is part of their daily life. During such occasions public transportation such as trains and buses are usually packed with lots of people, and there is no rule yet to restrict the number of passengers who can travel in a bus. People often stand inside the bus, and in most times they even hang on the footsteps to avoid reaching their destinations on time.

One would often hear conversations such as follows in buses:

படியிலெ தொங்காதீங்க. முன்னாலெ வாங்க

'don't hang on the footsteps, come in',

முன்னாலெ நகந்து வாங்க. ஒரே எடத்துலெ நிக்காதீங்க

Move forward, don't stand at the same place.

Giving and asking for directions

There are specific words and phrases that can be learned in order to give or understand directions.

Directions are normally given with respect to particular landmarks or other points of

reference. So, one usually hears a lot of dative expressions in directions. This is also because many of the spatial phrases require the noun they modify to be in the dative. For example, வீட்டுக்கு முன்னாலெ (before the house), கடைக்குப் பக்கத்துலெ (near the store) and so on.

Many direction phrases in Tamil are expressed using separate words called post-positions (see Unit 1, Grammar Lessons 4-5).

Post positions usually require the noun they modify to have a case suffix, e.g., the dative உக்கு, the genitive/possessive இன் or the accusative ஐ.

Words denoting the four directions

வடக்கு (north), தெற்கு (south), மேற்கு (west), கிழக்கு (east)

Spoken forms: வடக்கெ, தெக்கெ or தெற்கெ, மேற்கெ, கெழெக்கெ

Ex: இந்தியாவுக்கு வடக்கே/ வடக்கு பக்கத்தில் இமயமலை இருக்கிறது

Himalayas is to the north of India.

A good trick to remember the directions East and West is to relate them to the geography of Tamil Nadu. Tamil Nadu has mountains in the West and lowlands in the East. Thus, the directions மேற்கு and கிழக்கு correspond to the spatial terms, 'above' (மேலெ) and 'below' (கீழ்).

Words denoting the relative spatial locations

முன்னால் (in front of), பின்னால் (back of), பக்கத்தில் (on the side of, close),

நடுவில் (in the middle of)

The corresponding spoken forms are: முன்னாலெ, பின்னாலெ, பக்கத்துலெ,

நடுவுலெ.

a) In front of, before: முன்னால் ''முன்னால':

Ex: n. எனக்கு முன்னால் மேசை இருக்கிறது. (''இருக்கு")

A table is in front of me.

b) Behind, besides, back of: பின்னால் ''பின்னால":

Ex: 3. உங்களுக்கு பின்னால் நாற்காலி இருக்கிறது.

There is a chair behind me.

c) Above, on top of etc.: மேல் ''மேல":

Ex: 4. மேசைக்கு மேல் என்ன இருக்கிறது?

What is above the table?

d) Below, underneth etc.: கீழே or கீழ்

''கீழ":

Ex: 5. நாற்காலிக்கு கீழே என் பை இருக்கிறது.

My bag is under the chair.

Side of, near etc.: பக்கத்தில்:

Ex: 6. அவருக்கு பக்கத்தில் என்ன இருக்கிறது?

What is near him?

Other useful words and phrases:

நேரா போங்க/ நேரா போகணும் (go straight)

எடது பக்கத்துலெ திரும்புங்க (turn left side)

நேரா கொஞ்ச தூரம் போங்க (go stright for some distance)

அங்கேருந்து கொஞ்ச துரத்துலேயே (within a short distance from there)

அங்கேருந்து ரொம்ப தூரம் போயிடாதீங்க (don't go far from there)

ஒரு ரெண்டு நிமிஷம் நடக்க்றதுகுள்ளேயே (within a two minute walk)

Conducting Ceremonies, Rituals and Social Gatherings - Conscience and Consciousness of the community

Visiting close as well as distant relatives is common practice among Tamils. Relatives meet often in gatherings such as marriages(கல்யாணம்), house warming ceremonies (வீடு குடிபோதல்), girls' coming-of-age ceremonies (விளக்கேத்திக் கல்யாணம்), sixtieth birthday for a married man (அறுபதாம் கல்யாணம்), ear-piercing ceremonies for children (காதுகுத்து) and the like. How these ceremonies are conducted, among many other things, determines/reflects the status of relations among one's close circle of family. Not conducting these ceremonies at appropriate times would be considered in bad form among the relatives. Many people perform these ceremonies in their homes, just to prevent any rumors from spreading. Sayings such as யார் வாயை மூடினாலும் மூடலாம், ஊர் வாயை மூட முடியாது 'one can shut the mouth of anyone, but never the mouth of the town'; நாலு பேரு நாலு சொல்லுவாங்களேண்ணு பயமா இருக்கு '(I) am afraid that people might say something of this' (lit. four people might say four different things) etc., that Tamils often use reveal how the opinions of the entire community are extremely important in how one's own personal life is conducted.

The reasons for many orthodox behaviors of Tamils are centered more around what others might comment about them than one's own wellness. In this sense, everyone is afraid more of the rumours (வதந்திகள்) than of one's own life. Thus, it is often the collective voice that determines the nature of Tamil culture more than the individual's way of life. When someone does something wrong in a town, the news spreads very fast in the community, and that person becomes the laughing stock among everyone. This is accounted for by the Tamil expression: (அவரோட விஷயத்தெ பத்தி) ஊரே சிரிக்குது 'the entire town is laughing at (his bad behavior)'.

Sibiling Rivalry (பங்காளிச் சண்டை)

It is common among sibilings to fight (சண்டை போடு), both verbally as well as physically. Often parents intervene with some sort of punishment involving both scolding and spanking. Spanking is very common in Tamil culture. In fact, there is a saying அடியாத மாடு படியாது, 'the cow that is not spanked won't be obedient'. Parents in Tamil culture believe that the children should be raised to respect and fear their parents so that they don't develop a habit of disrespecting adults. Respecting one's parents is always expected and it is not uncommon for misbehavior to be physically punished, sometimes to the extreme of hitting them with sticks, kicking them, knocking on their heads with their fists, slapping them on their cheeks and so on. Spanking is also very common by teachers in elementary and high schools, though not in colleges. No government law has been implemented so far to legally punish such actions as the notion of how to raise children is much different.

The term பங்காளிச் சண்டை specifically refers to misunderstanding between sibilings at an older age when it comes to distributing inheritance. It is common among brothers to fight at the time of partitioning the family's inherited properties. In many cases, after the partition the sibilings don't get along anymore and live without any contact whatsoever.

Using proverbs and idiomatic expressions

Experienced and fluent speakers of Tamil often use proverbs, sayings and other idiomatic expressions in their speech in order to emphasize or illustrate what they want to say. Literate speakers often quote poems from ancient Tamil literature; e.g., from திருக்குறள், ஆத்திச்சூடி, அகநானூறு, புறநானூறு and so on. In general, most Tamil speakers know these poems, proverbs, and idioms by heart simply through hearing them through movies, the radio, magazines and personal communications. The more aged someone is the more they know of these customary expressions. Such expressions often maintain very archaic words and phrases because they are transmitted orally and memorized from generation to generation, and thus often do not undergo any change along with the developments of the common languages.

Eloquency in Tamil is mostly gauged by how one can use such expressions very frequently and in appropriate contexts.

Proverbs

என்னதான் தாய் பிள்ளை என்றாலும் வாயும் வயிறும் வேறு வேறுதானே!

Lit. 'Despite being a Mother and child, they do have different stomachs', meaning 'At the verge of consumption of food, mothers and children do have to be different from each other.'

This proverb is used in circumstances where mothers are distanced from their children in terms of closeness.

காடு வா வா என்கிறது! வீடு போ போ என்கிறது.

'The cemetery is inviting and the home is attempting to give a farewell.'

This expression is used in the context of talking about someone's closeness to the end of life.

Sayings:

Unlike proverbs, sayings or customary expressions are often quoted from ancient literature, for example from the 'Ramayana', 'Mahabaratha' and so on. In order to understand these allusions, one would need to have a good knowledge of these literatures.

விடிய விடிய கதை கேட்டு சீதைக்கு ராமன் சித்தப்பா என்றானாம்!

'After listening to the Ramayana the whole night, someone said Rama is the paternal uncle of Sita.'

This expression is generally used in the context of someone's misunderstanding something especially after a detailed instruction. Again, in order to fully understand the significance of this saying, one would need to know the epic Ramayana where Rama is the hero and Sita is the heroine. The point is that if someone doesn't know about the primary and fundamental characters of Ramayana after having a lengthy instruction on Ramayana, he or she would be in a state of total confusion.

Click here to read a brief list of proverbs and idiomatic expressions in Tamil

Vocative Expressions and Addressing Terms

There are specific ways of calling someone who is at a distance from the speaker but within ear shot. When calling by name, the name will undergo a change in one of the syllables, depending upon the ending. There are also certain terms of address like அம்மா, அப்பா, தம்பி etc., which lose their original kinship meaning and simply act as honorific address terms. Using the word 'hey' as in English, and a Tamil version similar to this as ஓய் are considered very impolite in Tamil. ஹேய் ஜான்! இங்கே வா 'Hey John! Come here' is considered very disrespectful in Tamil. Only a boss would call his/her servent with 'hey! or ஹேய்.

Vocative forms:

In general vowel length is stretched to denote the vocative. Vowel ending names are used in vocative expressions by stretching the final vowel to a maximum length.

கமலா would be கமலாஆஆ

செல்வி would be செல்வீஈஈ

ராஜூ would be ராஜூஊஉ

மேரி would be மேரீஈஈ

and so on

In names ending in a consonant the vowel in the last syllable will be stretched.

ஜான் would be ஜாஆஆன்

கோபால் would be கோபாஆஆல்

In multiple syllable ன் ending words, the ன் is dropped and the final vowel is stretched.

நாராயணன் would be நாராயணாஆஆ

சேதுபாண்டியன் would be சேதுபாண்டியாஆஆ

கண்ணன் is கண்ணாஆஆ

In ம் ending names, the vowel in the last syllable stretched with nasalization.

மங்களம் is மங்களஆஆம்

சுந்தரம் is சுந்தரஆஆம்

These vocative forms can be used only among the equals or for adults calling the youngsters. It is disrespectful for any young person to call an adult by their name. In order for younger persons to call adults, or to call to a stranger, kinship terms such as தாத்தா, பாட்டி, அப்பா, அம்மா, அக்கா, தம்பி, அய்யா (to call a superior by a servant), சார் (to call an educated person) etc., are employed. Indeed, as we have seen, Tamil culture, as with many others, is very sensitive to social relations and appropriate interactions between individuals. Such social relations are often explicitly marked in how individuals are addressed and referred to: e.g., the use of pronouns such as நீங்கள் vs. நீ, அவன் vs. அவர், etc. as well as in imperative constructions போ vs. போங்கள், வராதெ vs. வராதீர்கள், etc. Kinship terms are no exception and can be used in Tamil to address not only actual kin, but to anyone else as well in conversation. Such 'fictive' kinship can be used for showing or not showing respect, conveying formality or informality, or creatively for insulting or complementing, etc. For example, one might refer to an older gentleman as அப்பா, an older woman as அம்மா. Similarly, to a young boy/girl as தம்பி/தங்கை or an older person, but not old enough to be one's father/mother, as அண்ணன்/அக்கா. Proper care should be taken to use these to address others, otherwise using them inappropriately could result in a misunderstanding.

For example, using தாத்தா on someone who is about forty or fifty years old might make that person very angry. One has to be about sixty to qualify to be a தாத்தா (cf. in English using the term 'grandpa', 'Pop'). Also, note that the person who is called as தாத்தா doesn't have to have grandsons or granddaughters to be called with this term. Also, only people under forty-years-old can call a person at the age of sixty or above as தாத்தா. A sixty-year-old person calling another sixty-year-old person தாத்தா is awkward. The same applies to the use of பாட்டி and other terms. For example, if one wants to call someone அக்கா, that person has to make sure he or she is much younger that the person one is addressing.

The terms அய்யா, அப்பா, அம்மா and அக்கா are also used with a reduction of first syllable and added in another word like என்னப்பா 'what's up respectable person', வாங்கம்மா 'welcome respectable madam' and so on. These terms can occur on their own, or be added to verbs.

Any stranger addressing a woman:

இந்தப் பழம் நல்லாருக்கும்மா! வாங்குங்கம்மா! 'Madam! this fruit is good. Please buy it (madam).

Any stranger addresing a man:

அய்யா! வாங்கய்யா! நல்லாருக்கீங்களாய்யா? 'Sir! Welcome. Are you doing fine?

Youngsters addressing educated male - either known or strangers!

சார்! வாங்க சார்! இங்க உக்காருங்க சார்! காப்பி கீப்பி குடிக்கிறீங்களா சார்! 'Sir! please come (sir). Please have a seat (sir). Would you like to drink cofee or something (sir)?

In addition to the honorific deictics and the kinship terms, Tamil also utilizes a number of other address terms. Like the kinship terms, a these forms are often attached to the ends of verbs or used freely to address individuals:

(அ)டா or டேய்	used to address small male children or close male friends younger than the speaker; also low-status males or as insult	போடா, 'Get lost boy, run along'
(அ)டீ	used to address small female children or close female friends younger than the speaker; also low-status females or as insult	கொடுடீ 'Give it here girl'

The அ in parantheses is dropped when appended to a word that ends in a vowel.

Secret Language Game

When talking among adults without letting children know about it, adults tend to use a special code for which there exists no name in Tamil. By this method, the syllable க is added to every syllable in the word.

Example:

Ordinary Tamil: மிட்டாய் பையை பத்திரமா உள்ளெ வை 'keep the candy bag inside, safely'

Secret code: கமி-கட்-கடா-கய் கபை-கயை கப-கத்-கதி-கர-கமா கவு-கள்-களே கவை

நாளெக்கி சினிமாவுக்குப் போகலாம் 'we can go to the movies tomorrow'.

Secret code: கனா-களெ-கக்-ககி கசி-கனி-கமா-கவு-கக்-ககு கபோ-கக-கலா-கம்.

No strict rule is followed while making this type of secret code, and there may be some irregularities due to convenience. This language is used only casually among the adults for the purposes of talking around the children, and there are no other serious purpose of using this method is found in the language.

Spoken, Written and Tamil dialects

The concepts of purity and pollution are very much applicable to Tamil language use. Traditionally, Tamils tend to think that what is written and read are the pure forms of the language and that here shouldn't be any mixture of spoken Tamil in such written forms. The literary variety of the language is considered to have preserved the beauty and purity of the language because is has conserved older forms by resisting phonological changes (vs. the spoken language). For instance, the sentence மழை பெய்தது 'it rained' is considered pure and மழெ பேஞ்சிது impure, even if the spoken version is regularly used by such speakers. Here, then, one form of the language (written) is attributed properties different from another form of the language (spoken), e.g., purity, refinement of speaker, appropriateness with respect to the context, eloquence, etc.

Similarly, the portrayal of Tamil dialects and accents, either by speakers to each other or in mass media, also determine the stigmatization process of certain language forms. It is a common practice among the users of various regional and social dialects to criticize and make fun of each other's use of the language in terms of words, phrases and sentences. Dialects of the language not only vary at the word level, but also vary considerably by intonation/accent. Both words as well as accent are heavily criticized among the speakers of various dialects. Consider the following dialect differences for the conjugation of the verb போ in the present progressive:

போய்க்கொண்டிருக்கிறேன் 'I have been going' (standard literary)

போய்க்கிட்டிருக்கேன் (Thanjavur dialect, presumably the standard spoken Tamil)

பொயின்ட்ருக்கேன் (Brahmin dialect)

போயினிருக்கேன் (Madras dialect)

Obviously, these forms occur as a result of application of phonological rules in multiple ways. What matters in this context is that each of these forms is stigmatized to the people who speak it, and hence attained special social attributes. For most all speakers, however, it is only the standard literary form that is considered to preserve the beauty of the language and is the form which should be used in media and platform speech.

In order to avoid being critiqued by others, most marginalized dialect speakers use the standard form while participating in conversations with speakers of other dialects. The claim that the Thanjavur dialect has evolved as a standard spoken variety of the language and that it is less stigmatized and used in media is often criticized by the speakers of other dialects, mainly for the reasons of jealousy.

H4>Lexical differences

The major change that one finds in dialects is difference in vocabulary. Vocabularies can have different forms as a result of phonological changes or as different uses of words.

அங்கே 'there' (standard literary form)

அங்கனெ (Thirunelveli dialect)

அங்க (Thanjavur dialect)

அங்குட்டு (Madurai dialect)

அங்காலெ (North-Arcot dialect)

பாட்டி 'grand mother'

ஆத்தா (Harijan dialect)

ஆயி (Vellala dialect)

அம்மம்மா (Tiruchi dialect)

ஆச்சி (Some parts of Vellala dialect)

Development of new grammatical categories in Dialects

Some dialects have also developed new grammatical forms during the course of their language change. For example, the Madurai dialect developed a 'third person plural impolite form', which is not common in other dialects. Usually, the plural form is used to express politeness. So, there evolved a gap in the language for not being able to address the mass in an impolite manner. Madurai dialect removed this gap by creating a new form of ஞ combining the impolite nasal sound ன் and the polite plural form ங்க.

வருகிறார்கள் போகிறார்கள் ஒன்றும் சொல்ல மாட்டேன் என்கிறார்கள் 'they come and go, but don't say a word' (Standard literary variety)

வறாங்க போறாங்க ஒண்ணும் சொல்ல மாட்டேங்க்றாங்க (Standard spoken form)

வறாஞ போறாஞ ஒண்ணும் சொல்ல மாட்டேங்க்றாஞ (Madurai dialect using ஞ as plural impolite marker.)

வறாஹ போறாஹ ஒண்ணும் சொல்ல மாட்டேங்க்றாவுஹ (Thirunelveli dialect)

Overlapping of lexical items between dialectal and standard forms

There are also certain homonyms created by certain changes in literary Tamil and certain spoken dialectal forms that have emerged over the course of time. For example, the oblique form of the word for 'house' in the Brahmin dialect is ஆத்த்- as in ஆத்துலெ 'at home', ஆத்துக்கு 'to the house' etc. It is derived from the literary Tamil word அகம் meaning 'house' or 'inside' (அகத்தில் 'in the house' leads to deletion of க followed by the compensatory lenghtening of the vowel அ). As a result of this particular development in this dialect, these words overlap with the the spoken form of the word ஆற்றில் 'in the river', which is ஆத்துலெ; also ஆத்துக்கு 'to the river'.

Conducting Prayers at House and in Temples, Churches and Mosques

The vocative terms refering to gods--namely ஆண்டவா, சாமியே, கடவுளே, பகவானே--and the proper names of the gods--like முருகா, கர்த்தரே, அல்லா etc.--are used quite frequently by people during their daily activities, especially when rejoicing, performing laborious works, when they get hurt, or when they are in anguish. All of these terms, except for கர்த்தரே--used by Christians--and அல்லா (or one of its variants, அரே அல்லா or அல்லாவே)--used by Muslims--are used when performing prayers in front of the god.

Manner of worship varies from religion to religion. The Hindus fold their hands near their face or some time above the head, and close their eyes while uttering these words. In some cases, people use expressions like கடவுளே என்னெக் காப்பாத்துப்பா 'Oh! Lord. Please protect/save me (from troubles!). The suffix ப்பா is used as a vocative term.

In some cases, people tend to use the impolite forms like டா and டீ to address gods and godesses respectively, with the impression that they get much closer to them by doing so. This is especially the case at the time of worries and troubles.

முருகா! ஏண்டா! என்னை இப்படி சோதிக்கிறே! 'Oh! Muruga! Why are you testing me with all these troubles?'

மாரியம்மா! நான் உனக்கு என்ன செஞ்சேன்! நீ என்னெ இப்படி சோதிக்கிறியேடி! 'Oh! Mariyamman! What did I do wrong to you, so you make me suffer this way'.

When blessing others the adults use the expressions like அருளால் 'by the grace', புண்ணியத்தில் 'by the merit of', துணையில் 'with the company of etc.

கர்த்தர் அருளால் உனக்கு எல்லாம் நல்லது நடக்கும் 'By the grace of the Christ, everything will happen very well for you.

அல்லா எப்பவும் உன் பக்கம் இருப்பார்! நீ கவலையே படாதே! 'Allah will be on your side all the time! Don't worry.

Even refering to the name of a temple in a particular place during prayer, or when talking about God(s), is also common.

வேலாங்கன்னி மாதா அருள் உங்களுக்கு இருக்கிறது. கவலைப் படாதீங்க 'You have the grace of Velangkanni goddess (Mary), Don't worry.'

திருச்செந்தூர் முருகன் இருக்கார்! உனக்கு எந்தக் கஷ்டமும் வராது போ! 'The Thiruchendur Murugan is out there! No trouble will come to you! You keep doing what you are doing!

எப் ஒண் விசாவுலேருந்து இண்ணெக்கி க்ரீன் கார்டுலெ இருக்கேண்ணா அதுக்கெல்லாம் எங்க ஊரு புள்ளையாருதான் காரணம். அவரோடெ தொணெ எனக்கு எப்பவும் உண்டு. 'I have been through the process of F1 visa to the Green Card (in the U.S.). The Vinayaka of my local town is the reason for all these. I am with his company all the time.

Offerings to Gods

Vows and Promises to gods are usually made privately to one's self, but will be revealed to others later either at the time of or after the actual 'offering'. Expressions used in this context include வேண்டிக்கிட்டேன் 'I made a vow to god'; பிரார்த்தனை பண்ணிக்கிட்டேன் 'I promised to god' and so on.

நான் பரிட்சையிலெ மட்டும் பாஸ் ஆனா நூத்தொரு தேங்கா ஒடெக்கிறேண்ணு எங்க ஊரு புள்ளையாருக்கிட்டெ வேண்டிக்கிட்டேன் 'I made a vow to the Vinayaga of our local town that I would offer him one hundred and one coconuts (cracking coconuts is a common way of making offerings), if I succeed in my examinations.

என் பெண்ணுக்கு நல்லபடி கல்யாணம் ஆனவொடனே புள்ளையாருக்கு பெரிய அர்ச்சனெ செய்யிரேண்ணு பிரார்த்தனை பண்ணிக்கிட்டேன். 'I prayed to god that I would offer him a 'Puja' after my daughter gets married without any trouble.'

Children Games and the Use of Language

There are numerous games that are played traditionally by Tamil kids. They are usually transmitted through the generations orally. Some of them are even seriously played by adults in tournaments, national competitions etc., while some are played only by kids.

The game called கபடி கபடி is recognized as a national game in Tamil Nadu. It involves controlling one's breath and saying கபடி கபடி aloud continuously while crossing the opponents' boundary line. If the opposite group members catch the person before returning back to his groups boundary, that person is thrown out of the game. But, if the person that holds the breath touches one or more members of the opposite team and returns to his own area holding the breath, the persons whom he touched are out of the game. The game continues until everyone is out from one of the teams. The words கபடி கபடி do not have any meaning, but are used as part of this game traditionally. சடு குடு சடு குடு is the other phrase that is used instead of கபடி கபடி. In some regions, there is also a custom of beginning with the following song and repeat the last word to hold the breath.

நான்தாண்டா ஒங்கப்பன் நல்ல முத்துப் பேரன், வெள்ளிப் பிறம்பெடுத்து விளையாட வறேன்டா வறேன்டா 'I am your father, grandson of Nalla Muthu. Holding a silver rod, I am coming to play/fight with you.'

The word வறேன்டா 'I am coming (you guy)' is repeated to hold the breath in the opponents' boundary.

ஜல்லிக்கட்டு is a bull fight game which has not yet been banned by the government. This game is especially played by adults during the பொங்கல் festival during the month of harvest month தை (January-February). The word கட்டு means 'subjugate', and the word ஜல்லி probably meant 'bull' in old Tamil, but is not used in this sense anymore.

கண்ணாமூச்சி விளையாட்டு: ('game of the blindfold') This is a children's game which involves blindfolding one child with a piece of cloth while that child has to catch/touch the other kids. The child who is touched will then take the turn to be blind-folded. Again, the word கண் means 'eye' but the other part of this word மூச்சி must have been a slang form of the word முடிச்சி 'tying' or மூடு 'close'.

ஒரு குடம் தண்ணீர் ஊற்றி (sp. உத்தி) ஒரு பூ பூத்தது ('with one pot of water one flower bloomed'): This is a counting game involving a rhyming song that starts with the phrases ஒரு குடம் 'one pot' and ஒரு பூ 'one flower', adding one number at a time. A group of children forming a row by holding each other's hands should circle around two other kids who would be holding their hands above their heads forming an arch. The children who are singing this song should cross the arch fast while circling around. If the other kids catch two of the members of the circling kids, those kids will have to form the arch.

நண்டு வருது நரி வருது ('a grab is coming; a fox is coming') This game, which is played by an adult with a child, is usually meant for amusing a crying child by tickling with two fingers on one of the hands of the child. The adult would move the fingers through, say at the end நண்டு புடிச்சிக்கிட்டுதாம் 'the grab finally caught you', and hug the child.

How to begin and end a conversation

Beginning a conversation is usually done with expressions like என்ன சேதி? எப்படி இருக்கீங்க?, வீட்டுலெ எல்லாரும் சௌக்கியமா?, என்ன? ரொம்ப நாளா பாக்கவே முடியலெ? ஊருலெ இல்லெயா? 'What's the news? How are you? Is everyone at home doing fine? What happened? Long time no see!' and so on. A more laid-back way of beginning a conversation with someone whom you haven't seen for a while is asking about, or commenting on, each other's physical appearance. Usually, asking why the other person looks so thin is a customary way of beginning a conversation: என்ன? ரொம்ப எளச்சிட்டீங்க போலிருக்கே? 'What happened? You look so thin!' (NOTE: this is not a compliment; rather, a compliment might indicate that one has gained weight, for example). Of course, one shouldn't ask whether that was because of any illness, but should ask whether that was because other person is not taking food regularly: நல்லாவே சாப்பிட்றதில்லையா? 'Are you not taking food regularly?'.

What would be a normal method of ending a communication? And are there any polite ways of cutting short any dragging conversation? Some words and phrases that can be used to bring a conversation to an end are: Saying சரிங்க, வேற என்ன சேதி? ('any other news?'), அப்பறம் ('then'), பாக்கலாமா 'shall we see each other later' etc. When used during a conversation, such phrases would trigger a mood of completion of the dialogue. Especially, when someone is not very conscientious about maintaining time and seems to keep dragging out a greeting, use of these words will help to move on.

Taking a leave of

As it is customery to say வாங்க to someone who visits someone, it is also required that person says போயிட்டு வறேன் 'I will go and come back' when leaving. No one is expected to say நான் போறேன் 'I am going' when leaving, as it is considered impolite because everyone is expected to eventually return and not simply leave. The other phrases like சரி! நான் கெளம்புறேன் 'okay! Let me take a leave of', அப்பறம் பாக்கலாம் 'we will see each other later', நான் பொறப்பட்றேன் 'let me make the move' etc., are also acceptable phrases. The generic expression that refers to inviting someone during the visit is வாங்கண்ணு சொல்லுங்க 'say welcome' and for leaving is சொல்லிக்கொள் (spoken: சொல்லிக்கோ 'say bye' (lit. say yourself to the host). The formal term for 'invitation' is வரவேற்பு as in மணமக்கள் வரவேற்பு 'invitation of the bride groom'; invitation letter is அழைப்பிதழ் as in திருமண அழைப்பிதழ் 'marriage invitation'.

It is absolutely wrong to ask someone எங்கெ போறே 'where are you heading' when about to leave for some place. In such circumstances the other person might respond with உனக்கு அறிவு இருக்கா? வெளியே போறப்போ எங்க போறேண்ணு கேக்கிறியே 'do you have any sense? Why do you ask me where I was leaving for, when I am about to leave?' Instead, எங்க கெளம்பிட்டே 'where are you making a move for' would be appropriate.

Talking in between the lines: இக்கு வச்சு பேசு

Being too clever, being not too practical, being too sensitive person, not being too naive etc., are usually demonstrated by not saying anything very explicitly but by speaking indirectly with double meanings. This is traditionally expressed by the phrase: இக்கு வச்சி பேசு 'Speak with க்'. The stop consonant க் is usually employed to connect sentences when writing Tamil. Thus, having an க் at the end of a sentence means the sentence is not complete and requires other words or phrases to make it complete. To say that someone speaks with a க், then, means that something is being withheld, etc.

Below are some of the sentences and questions that are used in the contexts of asking someone to be more explicit; being frank in saying something, i.e. யாரோ இக்கு வச்சி பேசும் போது (when someone speaks with a க்).

என்னமோ சொல்ல வந்தேன் மறந்துட்டேன் 'I was going to say something, but forgot'

நீங்க என்னவோ சொல்ல வந்தீங்க ஆனா சொல்லலையே 'you were going to say something, but didn't say it'

என்ன சொல்லணும்ணு நெனெக்கிறீங்க? கூச்சப்படாம சொல்லுங்க. 'What do you want to say? Say it without any shyness.'

தலையால அடிச்சிக்கிட்டேன். அவன் கேக்கவேயில்லை. 'I kept insisting upon it, but he didn't listen to me'. (lit. I hit on my head (while insisting upon something), and he didn't listen to me. தலையால is the corrupt version of தலையில்).

ஆனா ஆவன்னா; க ங ச ஞ: Names of Vowels and Consonants and their non-linguistic functions

Traditionally, the Tamil alphabet is understood by the names ஆனா ஆவன்னா referring to vowels and க ங ச ஞ referring to consonants. This is also used to ask whether someone is knowledgeable of Tamil script, as அவருக்கு ஆனா ஆவான்னா தெரியாது 'he doesn't know Tamil alphabet' (lit. he doesn't know the vowels அ ஆ). One can say எனக்கு ஆனா ஆவன்னா நல்லா தெரியும் 'I know the vowels very well' ஆனா க ங ச ஞ நல்லா தெரியாது 'but don't know the consonants very well'.

Following is the way the vowels are understood traditionally.

அ - ஆனா

ஆ - ஆவன்னா

இ - ஈனா

ஈ - ஈயன்னா

உ - ஊனா

ஊ - ஊவன்னா

எ - ஏனா

ஏ - ஏயன்னா

ஐ - ஐயன்னா

ஒ - ஓனா

ஓ - ஓவன்னா

ஔ - அவ்வன்னா

அக்கேன்னா to refer to the fricative vowel.

Syllabic consonants take the syllable ஆனா in their names like கானா, ஙானா, சானா and so on.

Pure consonants are understood by the names like இக்கு, இங்ஙு, இச்சு, இஞ்ஞு, இம்மு etc., with the syllable இ added in the beginning and the corresponding doubling of the consonant at the end.

Some of the consonants, vowels and syllables are used traditionally to refer to certain actions and objects. These onomatopoeic expressions occur with the sound name plus the quotative particle என்று (sp. ண்ணு).

When someone is keeping quiet and not replying in response to a query, it can be represented using உம்மு and the quotative particle என்று (spoken ண்ணு):

நான் கேக்குற கேள்விக்கெல்லாம் ஒன்னும் சொல்லாம உம்முண்ணு ஒக்காந்திருந்தான் 'He was sitting quietly without answering any of my questions' (lit. he was simply sitting உம்')

When someone is perplexed and confused about something, this can be expressed using the consonant ஞே.

உங்களுக்கு ஒன்னும் புரியவேயில்லையா? ஞேண்ணு உக்காந்திருக்கீங்க. 'What happened? Don't you understand anything? (sitting like ஞே).

Excessive pain is expressed with the vowel ஆ:

திடீர்ணு அவன் என்னெ அடிச்சவொடனே நான் ஆண்ணு கத்துனேன் 'As soon as he hit me without any notice, I screamed aa!'

When someone is responding to something just with a smile, the vowel ஈ is used.

அழகான பொண்ணெ பாத்துட்டா ஈண்ணு பல்லெ காட்ட ஆரம்பிச்சிடுவியே! 'As soon as you see a beutiful girl, you would start showing your teeth!' (lit. would show your teeth saying ஈ).

The vowel ஈ is also used to ask someone to show all the teeth.

ஈண்ணு! ஒனக்கு எத்தனெ பல்லு இருக்குண்ணு பாக்கலாம். 'Say ஈ, we will see how many teeth you have.'

The long vowel ஓ and the syllable கோ are used to denote someone's crying aloud.

பாட்டி இறந்ததைக் கேட்டதும் அவன் ஓண்ணு/கோண்ணு அழ ஆரம்பிச்சிட்டான். 'As soon as he heard about his granmother's death, he started crying aloud' (lit. started to cry saying ஓ).

When someone or some animal is screaming out of fear, pain etc., the syllable கீ is used.

நாயை அடிச்சதும் கீ கீண்ணு கத்திகிட்டே ஓடிப்போச்சு 'As soon as the dog is beaten, it ran away making lound noise (கீ கீ).

The syllable ஊ is used to express the 'hot' sensation, both spicy as well as temperature hot.

ஊ! தோசை ரொம்ப சுடுது! 'oo! the dhosa is very hot'

என்னோட சாம்பார் சாதத்தை சாப்பிட்டுட்டு ஊ ஊண்ணு கத்த ஆரம்பிச்சிட்டான். கண்ணெல்லாம் ஒரே தண்ணி.. 'After eating the rice with spicy sauce I made, he started saying ஊ' and his eyes are full of tears'.

The syllable டக் is used to express 'abruptness'

நான் கேக்குற கேள்விக்கு டக்குண்ணு பதில் சொல்லு 'Answer my question instantly (without any hesitation)'

The syllable சர் is used to express tearing off something.

தாளெ சர்ர்ருண்ணு கிழிச்சிட்டான் 'he tore the paper (சர்)'

படார் is used to denote 'banging' something on something.

கதவைப் படார்ணு சாத்தினேன் 'I shut the door (படார்)'

Extended meanings of Verbs

Often certain features of verbs are extended or generalized to some other related action. There are numerous verbs which undergo this process. The verb பற 'fly', for example, is used to mean someone's 'over enthusiasm' about something as understood in the following example.

சாப்பாடு சாப்பாடுண்ணு ஏன் இப்படி பறக்குறெ. கொஞ்ச நேரம் இரு. போடுவாங்க. 'Why are you so piggy about getting the food. Wait a while. You will be served with food'

In this type of extended meaning, there may or may not be any direct relationship between the original meaning and the extended meaning. One has to understand such extension of meanings through examples. Native speakers of Tamil learn to use this through hearing such expressions on a regular basis from various channels like day-to-day conversations, radio, movies etc. Following are some of the examples of the exended meanings of sample words.

சாப்பிடு (eat), முழுங்கு(swallow), ஏப்பம் விடு (burb) to mean 'finish off' something

அவன்கிட்டெ பணத்தைக் கொடுக்காதே! ஒரே நாள்ளெ எல்லாத்தையும் சாப்பிட்டுடுவான். 'Don't give any money to him. He will finish off everything within a day (lit. eat everything up - meaning spend it all).

தூங்கு to mean 'missed to do something' - lit. sleep

இந்த மாசம் வட்டி ரொம்ப கொறெச்சலா இருந்து. வீட்டுக் கடனெ மாத்தாம தூங்கிட்டேன். 'The interest rate was really low this month. I missed (slept) to refinance my home loan'.

மாத்துto beat up someone. - lit. change (from மாற்று)

திருடனெ போலிஸ் மாத்து மாத்துண்ணு மாத்திட்டாங்க. 'The police beat up the thief like anything'.

The verb வாங்கு 'buy/get' is also used in the meaning of 'beat up' as above.

அறு to mean bore someone - lit. cut

அந்த ஆளு கூட பேசவே எனக்குப் பிடிக்காது. அது இதுண்ணு சொல்லி ஒரே அறு அறுண்ணு அறுத்துடுவான். 'I don't like to talk to that person. He always say about something or other and would make me really bored'.

Similarly, the verb கொல் 'kill' and கடி 'bite' are also used to mean 'bore'.

முழி to mean 'be confused' - lit. blink

வகுப்புலெ பாடம் ஒண்ணும் புரியாமெ முழிச்சிக்கிட்டே உட்கார்ந்திருந்தேன். 'I didn't one thing in the class and I was so confused'. (lit. sitting there blinking my eyes).

மழை வரப் போகுது 'something unusual might happen' (lit. it is going to rain').

என்ன திடீருண்ணு நீங்க எங்க வீட்டுப் பக்கம் வந்திருக்கீங்க. மழ கிழ வரப் போகுது 'What is this? You have made a surprise visit. It's going to rain'.

Scolding and Yelling

Scolding and yelling at someone can be done in varying degrees. There are particular words and phrases which can be used for this. Someone can be scolded very lightly, with no offense necessarily taken and even enjoying such teasing. However, the nature of some words and phrases can make the other person really angry no matter in what context it is uttered.

Using the names of animals:

Each animal is understood in Tamil culture with specific (negative) quality, and using the names of such animals to talk about someone would make that person angry given the quality invoked. When yelling with the names of animals, the person yelled at may or may not have the qualities of the animals in that context, but would be used just to denote someone's angry mood.

நீ ஒரு நாயி. ஏன் இப்படி கத்திக்கிட்டே இருக்கே? 'You are a dog. Why are you screaming all the time'.

சும்மா இருடி கழுதெ. வாயெ தொறெந்தா பல்லெ ஒடெப்பேன் 'Keep quiet, you donkey! If you open your mouth (try to utter anything), I will break your teeth'.

பன்னி மாதிரி எதையாவது தின்னுக்கிட்டேயிருக்கியே! 'You are eating like a pig.'

எறுமெ மாடு! ஏதாவது உறுப்படியா செய்யேன்! 'You the water buffalo! Why don't you do something good?'

ஏய்! கொரங்கு! சொன்னா கேக்க மாட்டியா? 'Hey! Monkey! Won't you listen to me?'

Names of devils and supernatural elments

Usually when referring to someone's appearance and behavior, the names of supernatural entities like பேய் 'devil', பிசாசு 'ghost', எமன் 'death god', மூதேவி 'godess of ill-luck', தரித்திரம் 'unlucky person' etc., and insanity like பைத்தியம் 'insane person' etc., are used. These words usually don't have as much effect in kindling the other person's anger as animal names. Some times, husbands and wives, lovers, and other friends use these words to yell at each other to kiddingly show their extraordinary affection.

Words referring to unfortunate status of some person--e.g., as a widow, poor person, etc., are also used to yell at somone.

கம்மனாட்டி 'widow': This word is used to scold both male and female persons, despite the fact that it is a feminine noun.

மடையன் 'senseless-male' vs. மடச்சி 'senseless-female'

கிறுக்கன் 'insane (male)', கிறுக்கி 'insane (female)'.

கழுத்தறுப்பு 'boring person' (lit. one who would cuts the neck)

Using body parts

Some of the body parts, especially hair and other private parts are often used as part of the 'scolding vocabularies' in Tamil. When words get such specialized meanings, using those words in normal contexts becomes difficult. So, new vocabularies representing such bodyparts from ancient Tamil are reused. One example is the use of the word மயிர் for hair. Saying this word in anger is considered very rude, and can make the other person very angry as well. So, the word முடி is used instead in normal occasions. Saying மயிர் வேட்ட போறேன் 'I go to get a haircut' is not common but முடி வெட்ட போறேன் is.

Also, telling the action of 'pulling one's hair' also attained this unacceptable meaning. The sentences மயிர் புடுங்கு 'pull the hair'; என்ன? மயிர் புடுங்க போனியா 'What? did you go to pull the hair or something?'; என்ன பெரிசா புடுங்கிட்டெ? 'what (the hell) did you make a big thing of? (lit. what did you pull that was so big?) etc., imply bad connotations, and should be avoided in normal contexts.

Adding numbers and doing math

Doing math in Tamil is expressed by using case suffixes with the nouns that denote the numbers ('number' in written Tamil is எண்). The equivalent for 'doing math' in Tamil is கணக்கு போடு where the verb போடு means 'put' or கணக்கு பண்ணு 'make math'.

கூட்டல் 'addition': The sociative suffix ஓட and the accusative suffix ஐ are added. The verb சேரு 'put together' is also used in some contexts.

நாலோட ரெண்டெ கூட்டுங்க 'add two with four' (spoken)

நாலையும் அஞ்சையும் கூட்டுங்க 'add four and five'

அஞ்செப் பத்துலெ சேத்தா என்ன வரும்? What would you get when you add five in ten? (cf. What do you get when you add five to ten?)

கழித்தல் 'subtraction': The non-animate ablative suffix is used to substract numbers. The number that is being subtracted is put in the accusative.

பத்தை இருபதுலேருந்து கழிங்க 'substract ten from twenty' (spoken)

It can also be expressed with the conditional form of the verb, போ, போனால்:

பத்துலெ அஞ்சு போனா என்ன வரும்? 'What remains when you substract five from ten?' (spoken)

வகுத்தல் 'dividing': The instrumental suffix is used to divide one number from some other number. The noun that is being divided is put in the accusative.

இருபத்தஞ்செ அஞ்சால வகுங்க! 'Divide twenty-five by five' (spoken)

பெறுக்கு 'multiply': Usually the accusative suffix and instrumental suffixes are used.

பத்தையும் பத்தையும் பெறுக்குங்க. 'Multiply ten and ten' (spoken).

பத்தெ பத்தாலெ/பத்தோடெ பெறுக்கு. 'Multiply ten by/with ten.'

சதவீதம் கண்டுபிடி 'Find out the percentage'

ஒரு எண்ணெ நூறாலெ வகுத்தால் சதவீதம் வரும் 'when one divides a number-acc. (எண்ணை) by hundred, one gets the percentage'.

தமிழ்நாட்டுலெ கிட்டத்தட்ட அறுபது சதவீதம் படிச்சவங்க 'Approximately sixty percent of the people in Tamil Nadu are educated people.'

தமிழ்நாட்டுலெ இருக்குற அறுபது மில்லியன் பேரில் எத்தனை சதவீதம் படிச்சவங்க? 'What is the percentage of educated people among the total of sixty million in Tamil Nadu.'

Tamil Eloquence and Political Rhetoric

Oratory at political rallies, cultural gatherings, literary meetings etc., is a common practice among the Tamils. Emphasizing the historical merits of the Tamil language and its literary heritage is one of the ways that the orators attract audiences. This is because of the widespread belief in the beauty of the Tamil written language. For this reason, those who are able to command literary Tamil with ease are highly respected.

Such uses of Tamil has been common in Tamil politics, from their political agendas (e.g., encouraging the use of Tamil in the government, schools, etc.) to how they use their language (e.g., in political speeches). Cracking jokes, teasing others indirectly etc., are quite common in such speeches. During elections, the political party members go to the extreme of attacking each other verbally on the political platforms, albeit in poetic style. This has been an unavoidable and uncontrollable feature of the Tamil Political arena. Below are some Tamil expressions that describe the fluency of such speeches. Note how the descriptions themselves are often poetic, utilizing metaphor and onomatopeia.

வெட்டு ஒண்ணு துண்டு ஒண்ணுண்ணு அவர் பேசுவார் 'He speaks outright, without hiding anything. (lit. he speaks as though one simple cut results two pieces)'

கல கலண்ணு சிரிக்க வைப்பார் 'He would make the audience laugh.'

சும்மா கணீர் கணீர்ண்ணு பேசி எல்லாரையும் அசர வைச்சிடுவார் 'He makes everyone stunned, simply by speaking so priciesly and boldly.'

அவரோட பேச்சுல தமிழ் பூந்து விளையாடும் 'In his speech, the Tamil language just spins around.'

வழா வழா கொழா கொழாண்ணு பேசாம சுத்தத் தமிழ்லெ பேசி எல்லாருக்கும் தண்ணி காட்டிடுவார் 'Without speaking very sluggishly, he uses the pure Tamil and makes his opponents giddy' (lit. he would show water to everyone).

Some political party members use certain catch phrases to identify their own individuality. Following are some of the phrases that some speakers used in the past:

ரத்ததுக்கு ரத்தமே 'Belonging to the same blood' (lit. blood of the blood). This phrase implies the close affinity between the speaker and the people.

எல்லோரும் இந்நாட்டு மக்கள் 'Everyone is the king of this country.'

மாற்றான் தோட்டத்து மல்லிகைக்கும் மணம் உண்டு 'The jasmine from the neighbor's garden also possesses fragrance.'

ஏழைப் பங்காளி 'kin to the poor people'

Quoting the ideas and concepts from ancient Tamil literature quite frequently are often used to imply the speakers' love on language and culture, and hence their closeness to the interests of the Tamil people. Below are some allusions commonly used in political rhetoric:

புறமுதுகு காட்டாத வீரம் நம் வீரம் 'Our bravery never shows our back to the enemies.' (From the Sangam classics புறநாநூறு.)

செல்விருந்தோம்பி வருவிருந்து பார்க்கும் பரம்பரை நம் பரம்பரை. 'Our lineage is the one that always treats the guests with pride and expects more guests all the time' (From the Sangam work: திருக்குறள்.)

யாதும் ஊரே யாவரும் கேளிர் 'all towns are local towns and everyone is our kin' (From Sangam poem)

These quotes are comprehensible by most of the Tamil speakers because of their common currency in the population at large, partially due to their use in politics.

Use of metaphors and alliteration are very common in literary/political speeches.

முல்லைக்குத் தேர் தந்த பாரி வாழ்ந்த குலம் நம் குலம். 'Our lineage belongs to the lineage of the king Pari who gave away his chariot to the Jasmine wreath to grow'.

கற்புக்கரசி கண்ணகி பரம்பரையில் வந்தவர்கள் நம் நாட்டுப் பெண்கள் 'Our women belong to the tradition of the chaste woman Kannaki' (Kannaki is the heroine in the epic Silappathikaaram, and is often used as a model for chaste women).

Hesitation forms

Hesitation and making a guess in Tamil are usually accompanied by the forms உம்..., இல்லெ..., வந்து..., அப்பறம்... etc. These words can occur at any place in a sentence for any number of times. The possible contexts where these forms can be used include: a) When trying to admit a mistake, b)When saying something without knowing much details about it, c)When trying to hide something from somebody, d) when trying to break a surprise, e) when attempting to express something out of fear, and so on.

வந்து. வந்து. நான் நேத்து வந்து, உம் அப்பறம்...நான் பள்ளிக்கூடத்துக்குப் போகாம சினிமாவுக்கு போனேன் 'I went to a movie theater yesterday, without attending to the school'.

A: உம்ம்ம்... நான் வந்து உன்னெ வந்து... 'I, you know, I...'

B: என்ன? வந்து போயிண்ணு ஒரே வழிசலா வழியுறெ? சொல்றதெ டக்குண்ணு சொல்லு! 'What? What do you mean by 'coming' and 'going'? What are you making a big fuss about? Tell me right away!

A: இல்லெ! வந்து! நான் வந்து! உன்னெ... வந்து! காதலிக்கிறேன். 'No! I am just! I love you!'

Verbs of bodily action and their cultural connotations

In Tamil, certain physical actions, and the verbs that denote them, are traditionally attached to some cultural meaning. Such relationships don't usually have any clear explanation, but are just believed because of tradition. But, Tamils take such connotations very seriously.

புறையேறு 'choke'

When someone chokes while drinking water, it is believed that that person is being scolded by someone else at a distant place.

யாரோ உங்களெ திட்டுறாங்க. அதான் உங்களுக்குப் பொறெயேறுது 'Someone is scolding you, that is the reason why you are choking. (Note how the subject of புறையேறு is put in the dative and the verb takes the neuter PNG).

விக்கல் எடு 'hiccup': It is believed that when someone is hiccuping, someone in a distant place is thinking of them. Unlike choking, the other person is on good terms with this person.

யாரோ உங்களெ நெனெக்கிறாங்க. அதான் உங்களுக்கு விக்கல் வந்திருக்கு. 'Somebody is thinking about you, so you are getting hiccups.

தும்மு 'sneeze': Sneezing is considered a bad omen. It is not acceptable to sneeze when someone is about to start something: leaving the home, giving money to someone, starting to write a letter to someone etc. It's really bad when someone sneezes during the marriage. This is also one of the reasons why the drumming is done in marriage ceremonies.

மொதல் மொதலா ஒரு வேலைக்குப் போகலாம்ணு கெளம்புனேன். இவன் தும்மிட்டான். போற காரியம் என்ன ஆகுமோ தெரியலெ. 'I just started to set out to join a new job. He sneezed it. I don't know what's going to happen to my job.'

கல்யாண வீட்டுலெ தும்மி கிம்மி வைக்காதெ! 'Don't you ever sneeze on the occasion of someone's marriage.'

வயிற்று வலி 'stomach ache': If someone eats in front of someone without sharing it, it is said that that person would get stomach pain.

எல்லாரையும் பாக்க வச்சி நீ மட்டும் சாப்பிட்டா உனக்கு வயித்து வலி வரும். 'if you eat in front of everybody, without sharing it, you will get stomach pain'.

தலை வலி 'head ache': When someone is bothering too much, it would be said that that person is giving too much head ache.

நீ சரியான தலைவலிடா. எப்ப பாத்தாலும் தொண தொணண்ணு அதெக் கொடு இதெக் கொடுண்ணு கேட்டுக்கிட்டே இருப்பே 'You are such a head ache. You always ask me to give you this or that.'

குமட்டு 'feel like throwing'

அந்த ஆளு மூஞ்சியைப் பாத்தாலே எனக்குக் கொமட்டிக்கிட்டுத்தான் வருது. 'As soon as I see his face, I feel like throwing'.

மூக்கெப் புடிச்சிக்கிட்டு 'holding your breath': This expression, which is relatively different from the others above, is used in a number of different contexts. When eating some food which is not so good tasting, or medicine, one might say that it should be taken holding the breath; it is also used when trying to do some difficult work.

மூக்கெப் பிடிச்சிக்கிட்டு இந்தச் சாப்பாட்டெ சாப்பிடு. 'Take this medicine holding your breath.

மூக்கெப் பிடிச்சிக்கிட்டு இந்த மூட்டெயெத் தூக்கூங்க. 'Lift this bag holding your breath.'

When someone eats a lot, the phrase மூக்கு முட்ட சாப்பிடு 'eat up to the nose' is used.

சாப்பாடு ரொம்ப நல்லா இருந்துது. மூக்கு முட்டச் சாப்பிட்டுட்டேன். 'The food is so great. I ate up to my nose.'

பாக்கச் சகிக்கலெ 'not very pleasant to see' (written பார்க்கச் சகிக்கவில்லை): If someone or something is not very pleasant or not liked, this phrase can be used to denote the sight of that person or thing.

தலையிலெ டையை அடிச்சிருக்கான். பாக்க சகிக்கலெ. 'He dyed his hair. It's very unpeasant to see'. (lit. dyed on his head!)

Influence of Sanskrit in Tamil

Tamil is believed to have borrowed words and phrases from the Sanskrit language from the sixth century A.D. onwards when structured temples and imitating the traditions of the North started to emerge in Kanchipuram and Mahapalipuram, two major centers of Tamil civilization. Until then, Tamil experienced its own indigenous qualities and characteristics, which are evident from the most celebrated Sangam classic literatures which are dated before the sixth century A.D. The celebrated epics such as Cilappathikaram, Manimekalai, the many compilations of poems such as Thirukkural, Purananuru, Akananuru, Kalittokai, the grammars of Tokappiyam, Nannul and their commentaries from Neminatham, Swaminatham etc., as well as a host of others are considred to be the invaluable treasures of the Tamil language and culture. This is because they were composed in the Tamil land for the Tamils without any influence from other languages and cultures.

However, the growth of religious sects, namely Vaishnavism and Saivism, among the Tamils along with the Agamic traditions of Temple culture made a considerable impact upon the Tamil language and culture. Many words from the Sanskrit language became part of the literary langauge first, and later the spoken language. The equilvalent Tamil words became less popular, and even forgotten by many Tamil speakers. A new style of the Tamil language called Manippravala, a mixture of vernacular language and Sanskrit language, came into existence in the South Indian languages Malayalam, Kannada, Telugu and Tamil. This style was used in Tamil widely until the end of ninteenth century, but started to weaken due to enormous pressures from the Tamil purism movement. Despite this, many Sanskrit words are still current in the language. Following are some of the pairs where the Sanskrit counter parts are used in speech more commonly than their Tamil equivalents.

கோபம் and சினம் 'anger'

சந்தோஷம் and மகிழ்ச்சி 'happiness'

சௌக்கியம் and நலம் 'health'

வருத்தம் and உளைச்சல் 'sadness'

மனம் and உள்ளம் 'mind'

யோசனை and எண்ணம் 'thought'

வெட்கம் and நாணம் 'shame'

கஷ்டம் and அல்லல் 'suffer from difficulties'

ரொம்ப and மிக 'much'

நமஸ்காரம் and வணக்கம் 'greetings'

The proponents of the 'Pure Tamil movement' have been attempting to promote the use of pure Tamil words instead of the Sanskrit equivalents in speech as well as writing, but without tremendous success so far. Using pure Tamil and avoiding the Sanskrit words in one's speech or writing generally results an artificial speech which is difficult for most to understand. To cite an example, the sentence வாழ்க்கையில் சந்தோஷமே இல்லாமல் கோபமும் வருத்தமுமாக ரொம்பவும் கஷ்டப்படுகிறேன் is more natural than its pure Tamil equilvalent வாழ்க்கையில் மகிழ்ச்சியே இல்லாமல் சினமும் உளைச்சலுமாக மிகவும் அல்லல் படுகிறேன் 'I suffer too much from too much anger and sadness without any happiness in life .'

Borrowing and lending money

Borrowing and lending money are common among some sections of Tamils, usually among the middle class. There are pawn brokers and professional money lenders, who lend money for interest. Even though the credit card companies have started to emerge in recent times as a result of 'globalization', the most common way of borrowing money is made either with these money lenders or from friends, colleagues and neighbors.

There are also instances where some people borrow money and fail to pay back, and in such instances it is the concern of the lender to get the money back from such persons. This practice of borrowing money is very common especially among the monthly salaried people, who run short of money during the last week of the month. Asking for and lending money is not considered a bad habit, and is generally assumed to be one of the routine activities for some people.

Words and Phrases:

கைமாற்று (sp. கைமாத்து) 'borrowing' (lit. exchange of hands) (எனக்கு கைமாத்தா ஒரு ஐம்பது ரூபாய் தரமுடியுமா? ஒரே வாரத்துலெ திருப்பிக் கொடுத்துடுவேன்! 'Can you lend me some fifty rupees? I will return it in a week.'

கடன் வாங்கு/கொடு 'borrow, lend, loan' (மாசக் கடைசி!. கடன் வாங்கினால்தான் கதை நடக்கும். 'It is end of the month. The rest of the days can only be spent with a loan from somebody')

கடன் படு 'owe': This phrase is used both in its literal sense as well as in a metaphorical sense. (நான் உங்களுக்கு நிறைய கடன் பட்டிருக்கிறேன் 'I owe you a lot (of money or of help)'

வட்டி போட்டு பணத்தைத் டிருப்பிக் கொடு 'pay money back with intrest' (நூறு ருப்பாய் கைமாத்து கொடுங்க. இன்னும் ஒரு மாசத்துலெ வட்டி போட்டுக் கொடுதுடறேன் 'Lend me some hundred rupees. I will pay you back in a month with intrest'.)

Influence of English in Tamil

After the British invasion in Tamil Nadu, use of English attained a prestigious and luxurious status among the Tamils. As a result, mixing English words and phrases in Tamil became very popular and common among educated speakers. Just as using Sanskrit words in one's speech was considered to be better than their corresponing Tamil words, use of English words and sentences in Tamil speech became more acceptable than the pure Tamil utterances.

A common way that English words are put to use in Tamil is through a number of verbalizers including பண்ணு, 'to do.' and அடி 'beat/hit'. These verbs can be used to turn a noun, Tamil or otherwise, into a verb. It is commonly used in assimilating English words into Tamil. For example,

TV off பண்ணுங்க. 'Turn off the TV.'


அவரு workபண்ணினா ரொம்ப complainபண்ணுவாரு. 'If he does work, he complains a lot!'


நான் suddenஆ ஒரு breakஅடிச்சதுனாலெ எல்லாரும் ஒரு dive அடிச்சி கீழ விழுந்துட்டாங்க! 'As I applied break suddenly, everyone in the car dived forward and fell down.'


எல்லாரும் jump பண்ணி jump பண்ணி நேரத்தெ wasteஅடிச்சிக்கிட்டிருந்தாங்க. 'They were wasting their time just jumping up and down'.

However, this does not mean that any English word can be used. Use of English words with Tamil grammar developed a standard usage where not all combinations of English and Tamil are equally acceptable. For example, நான் chairலெ உக்காந்து ஒரு bookஐ read பண்ணிக்கிட்டிருந்தேன் 'I sat in a chair and read a book' is acceptable and very natural, but not I chairலெ sit பண்ணி study பண்ணுனேன்.

Use of Tamil case and other suffixes with English words as in சேர்லெ 'in the chair', கஸ்டமுக்காக 'for the Custom', bribeலேருந்து 'from the bribe', taalஆ 'tall', shortஆன 'short'; use of Tamil adjectives with English nouns as in ஒரு சின்ன piece of information 'a small piece of information', பெரிய presidentஉண்ணு நெனப்பா உங்களுக்கு 'do you think you are the great president?' etc. are very common in Tamil speech.

In fact, for many, mixing English words and phrases in one's speech is considered more natural and sophisticated than trying to use only pure Tamil words. Following are some commonly used expressions that one hear in Tamil speech.

நீங்க ஹோட்டலுக்கு ரீச்சான ஒடனே எனக்கு ஒரு போன் பண்ணி inform பண்ணிடுங்க. 'As soon as you reach the hotel, inform me with a phone call'.

Morning nine o'clockலேருந்து factoryலெ work பண்ணிட்டு evening five o'clockகுக்கு வீட்டுக்கு வந்தா wifeஓட பெரிய nuisance. அது mistake இது mistakeண்ணு complain பண்ணி ஒரே head acheதான் போங்க! 'I work from the morning nine o'clock until five o'clock in the evening in a factory. But, when I return home from work, my wife complains about so many things not being right. She is such a nuisance. I get all but headache!

Recent attempts of the government and other Tamil development organizations resisted upon the use of English and proposed Tamil equivalents for many words and phrases. Even though such words have attained popularity at only level of 'comprehension', they are yet to replace completely their English equivalents in speech. Following are some of the commonly known words and phrases but are yet to be very common in 'speech'.

மிதி வண்டி நிலையம் 'Cycle/bike shop'

புகை வண்டி நிலையம் 'Train station'

பேரூந்து நிலையம் 'Busstand'

விமன நிலையம் 'Airport'

நடத்துனர் 'Bus conductor'

ஓட்டுனர் 'Driver'

காசோலை 'Check'

வங்கி 'Bank'

நூலகம் 'Library'

கோப்பு 'File as in folder'

Wedding (கல்யாணம்) in Tamil Hindu Culture

Traditionally, Tamil marriages are arranged (arrangement, எற்பாடு) by parents for their sons and daughters. The roles of the bride/bridgegroom in selecting their marriage partners is very limited, and in some cases they have no say whatsoever. Parents make the selections for bride and groom by going over a number of criteria. The foremost is discussing with neighbors, friends and relatives to see if the boy and girl would make a match in terms of status, caste group, physical appearance, personality, etc. Then, the heads - usually the fathers - of both families discuss whether it would be agreeable to both families. Many marriages involve a dowry (வரதட்சனை) in terms of a lumpsum of money, jewelery, furniture, appliances, etc., to be offered to the family of the groom (மாப்பிள்ளை) by the family of the bride. This is discussed ahead of time, so no disputes occur at a later stage.

Finally, they check with an astrologer (ஜோதிடர்) with the horoscopes (ஜாதகம்) of both the bride and groom to see whether they match in terms of their stars (நட்சத்திரம்) and other characteristics. Only when the horoscopes match do the parents proceed to the final stage of betrothel (நிச்சயதார்த்தம்), fixing the date for marriage ceremony, etc. Before the marriage, there is a custom to let the bride and groom meet in a formal environment called 'bride seeing ceremony' (பெண் பார்த்தல்). Only in this formal ceremony do the boy and girl get to see each other. This particular ceremony usually doesn't involve them talking to each other.

Occasionally, love marriages (காதல் கல்யாணம்) also take place. In such cases, after the boy and girl meet and want to get married, they attempt to get the consent from their respective parents. Often, the parents do not agree to it, and the boy and girl may marry on their own in a registrar's office, living on their own without contact with their parents there after. In some cases, one of the family members might agree and others disagree; or both would agree to their decision and let them get married with their consent.